Goodnight
by Risa the Forsaken
Summary: Ryou wishes only for the eternal refuge and wants to escape his solitary existence. He could have been saved, had he waited. Uses a lot of lines from several songs. Written in the point of view of someone who experiences depression, also. Please R&R.


_Mirror on the wall, _

_Frame the picture._

_Reflect this kiss to wish us all_

_Goodnight._

Ryou would not cry. He needed to teach himself to be strong.

_A lack of discipline,_

_One hand to cut the other._

"Be a perfectionist; you're nothing if you're just another."

He stared at himself in the mirror. Ryou's eyes were dead orbs, the bright brown already faded out of them. He couldn't stand to look in those eyes any longer.

All of his _friends_ were lost. Hard as he tried, they all left.

_They all leave in the end.._

Once all battles were fought, once everything had returned back to normal, he found out that he had truly been alone all along. At the first sign of change, everyone abandoned him. He was overcome with uselessness and listlessness.

Days went by. Weeks went by. Months went by. And still, he remained to this day: _alone_.

At school, he was alone. Ryou would trudge to school, alone. He would sit by himself, alone. He would walk home alone. Even his Yami had abandoned him. The other half of himself had moved out because of the state of depression that Ryou was in.

_Shows how much he ever really cared.._

_I'm alone in a room that no one's in._

_I'm all alone, and there's nobody here._

Ryou tried to force himself to stop thinking. He tried to do some good by achieving much in school. He studied hard. His long hours full of books and papers consumed his thoughts. At least.. until the nightmares awoke.

Ryou was surrounded in black, just black. Nothing. Like his empty heart and soul.

_No more.._

_. . ._

The next day, Ryou rose early for school. He went through his classes in an even more monochrome fashion. To ensure that nothing seemed out of the ordinary, he went through them as usual – turning in work, taking notes, doing work. No one would have suspected. It was just another day. Another day for that quiet kid who always sat alone. The _weirdo_.

Ryou moved down the hallway.

_Take a good look, Ryou. This is the last you'll ever see of this place._

He wouldn't miss all of the lost hope that he had realized here. In this place. This place. Where all of the cascading dreams had been painfully crushed, one by one. Where all of the nightmares have been realized. Where his heart shattered.

_Never again._

He walked to his locker. Ryou placed in it his bag, books, and everything else that held items that belonged to the school. He decided to make it easier for them to find all of his supplies, after..

_No more._

A few students pushed their way past him in order to get out of the school doors quickly. He wondered if they didn't like him or if they were just hurrying to go and live their lives, having fun.Ryou heard their voices. One was saying his name. He couldn't hear _their_ voices any longer. But he didn't care; he just walked on. He thought that he could still hear the voices. He walked, and walked, and walked. He couldn't hear the voices anymore. They went away. Strange. They had never come before.

_Oh, well._

He had lost everything. If he had just been different, no one would have abandoned him like this. And in this sort of manner.

_I've lost my way._

_It's all my fault._

_Everything is my fault._

_Disrespect me,_

_I'm pathetic._

Ryou walked home in solitude, once again.

_Ooh, solitude,_

_Still with me is only you._

He wished that he could have someone to say goodbye to. He had no family; he had no friends. Ryou was so alone. So cold, and so alone. He made up his mind.

_I can't stay here another night._

_. . ._

Up in his room, he hugged his knees tight to his chest in the darkness, so as to cling onto some form of life. He wanted some kind of physical touch before he left. Against his wall, he sat helpless and left for dead. He bled.

He bled.

He bled.

He bled.

He hummed.

"_Kill me faster, with strawberry gashes all over, all over.."_

He bled. He bled out more than blood. Oh, no. He bled out fear, anguish, despair, depression, sorrow, and a number of other conflicting emotions. But a large part of Ryou bled doubt. It was ironic that, on his dying day, Ryou would feel that there had been some last shred of light, of faint hope. But that was to be expected, after all. The human body is programmed to fight for survival. No wonder his mind would concoct such a fairy tale.

"Too late to change it now, anyways."

His faint whisper disappeared into the night.

_No more.._

_. . ._

Ryou's faint hope had not just been the last few seconds of his subconscious attempting to cling on dearly to life. He would never know that all the difference could have been made, had he stayed in the building and held conversation with one of the voices who approached him that day. That one voice could have made him happy again. That one voice could have ended all the pain.

That one voice could have fixed everything that was wrong.

But even if Ryou had known that such a fate could occur, he still would've given it all up. He was already too far lost.

_Am I too lost to be saved?_

_Am I too lost?_

_. . ._

He had acted out his last will. He urged his head to stare into the mirror at his gray appearance. Ryou pressed his lips to the mirror.

"Goodnight."

_**. . . . . .**_

"Dearest Ryou.. Did my love mean nothing to you?"


End file.
